I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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