Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
