is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
