It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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