escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
