So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
