I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
