They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
