and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
