sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm getting married
To pizza
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
