I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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