Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Someone shattered a urinal.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
