I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
