i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
