I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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