My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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