He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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