come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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