i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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