You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
