she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I need moral support for this bender
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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