Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
