I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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