shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
