I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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