I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
