Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
