did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
