Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
