Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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