I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You ruined the universe
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
