Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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