you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
