I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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