So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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