Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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