All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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