I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
