You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
