wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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