the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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