You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
