I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
