awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize