Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
