Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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