You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize