You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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