I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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