Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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