I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
