im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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