Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
