Moan for me like Helen Keller
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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