Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
