and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
