Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
