I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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